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In Retrospect

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It’s October already?

BradshawOMGThou must be kidding me! This year is flying by so fast. Too fast. Way too fast. Way friggin fast. *breathe*

 

I want to look back. Tried to decide between “Hindsight” and “Retrospect”. Googled them.

Insert quote of the month:

“GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND”

Retrospect was more relevant to the musings that I want to muse about. ūüôā So, I’m looking back. We all love looking back, right? The whole ‘started from the botttom…’

 

*****(Shit, now the song is stuck in my head)

In retrospect, if I hadn’t eaten too much Blueband from the tin (yes tin), I would probably not gag everytime I taste it now. Yuck!

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In retrospect, if I had taken the public transport from primary school in the evenings, I wouldn’t be such a walker (Walker: Person who loves walking) NO?

I love walking. I honestly believe if I hadn’t trekked so much in the Mombasa sun circa 2000 when I was in middle school, I wouldn’t have much tolerance for it now. I mean, I could always go to the¬† gym for my exercise, but I prefer a brisk walk in the early morning/evening.

In retrospect, if I hadn’t gone to Limuru Girls’ High School, I would never have met my best friend, and I would never have met her current boyfriend, and I would never have met his best friend, who is currently my boyfriend!!!

In retrospect, I would never have thought that this connection would be so long drawn and so rewarding. I met her, she met him, he had a best friend since high school, I met him, we fell in love. That’s a pretty awesome beginning to a love story!

In restrospect I would never, NEVER have imagined that I would have such great relationships with my sisters, my friends, my employers, my inanimate objects..etc. I don’t know why I figured very early on in life, that a dysfunctional family is ‘normal’. So as I grew up I was very pessimistic about a whole lot of things. These things that I was pessimistic about were all founded on the fact that relationships all end up in shit. God is my only friend.

Zooey-Deschanel-Puts-On-a-Sad-Frown-In-New-Girl-Reaction-Gif
I literally thought the world¬† was doomed to failed relationships, broken marriages and dysfuntional families. God forbid I thought that I was going to be alone and miserable. I believed¬†that all powerful women had proven that you don’t need a man. (Shoot, I think I was a a feminist back then??). But boy, was I proven wrong. The best unexpected friendships, inside and outside of work have totally happened to me. And one important life lesson I have¬†learnt is that all the friends that we have, except for family, are there for a season only. It is inevitable that one day the paths we all choose will not be parallel anymore. And cue the long drawn silences, and the “we should meet, it’s been like a year!” and the need to find a new ‘clique’ because you are no longer in a great rapport with the old friend’s new girlfriend/wife. Then we move on. It’s the circle of life.

In retrospect I shouldn’t have planned out so many aspects of my young adult life(University). I have realised that those days were the most ‘convenient’ times to make all the mistakes, to explore the world, to create plans and wait for God to confirm them. Those days are the most memorable days of my life and even when my human brain ceases to contain those memories, the lessons I learnt will remain with me forever.
2/15/12 9:05 AM

 

In retrospect, I am so blessed. So so blessed. I have never been a ‘victim’. In whatever situation facing manking today, I have never been a victim. Though women are battered, abused, torn from their families, imprisoned, diseased, bedridden, name any other societally ‘bad’ situation. I thank God for shielding me from the pain of being a victim. I think that victims are way stronger than non-victims, but that is just my opinion. And even though I know that bad and good experiences mould your character in a way that no parent could, I am still very very grateful to God for His mercy upon my life.

 

Welcome October. I hope that In *2032 I will be able to look back at this time in my life in retrospect and respect the decisions that I made for myself and my future.

 

May the odds be in my favour.

Then and Now

I’m going to reference a post I did 2 years ago. I wrote about it here.

Click and read, if you want to make any comparisons. It’s easy because I haven’t blogged much¬†over the past year.

The challenge was to ‘write some basic things about myself’ as part of the 30-day challenge:

So, in a format similar to what I did before, here we go again:

a. I love God more than I ever loved Him, a little less than I will continue to love him. His blessing never cease to amaze me.

b. I am an engineer now. I have worked as an engineer for the past 2 years, on my way to registering officially in about a year.

c. I keep a small group of friends and an even smaller group of confidants.

d. I prefer a quiet night in with friends any day.

e. I am going to be an aunty soon!!

Obama is happy

f. I have 2 piercings now, down from 3.

g. I have the most amazing experience every time I spend a day with my boyfriend. Priceless I tell you. Full of laughs and awkward moments. And he inspires me everyday.

h. I have not been to the dentist in over 10 years. O.o

i. I would love to own a farm one day. I really would.

j. I am in love with black. My closet is currently half black. ūüėÄ

k. Lemons make me very happy. Lemons rule the world. Lemon in tea. Lemon as a salad dressing. Lemon with vodka. Lemon in my fries. Lemon with avocado. ‚̧

l. I dislike waiting. I am very impatient in regards to waiting for people.

Dean Winchester Grr animated GIF

m. I am very specific about services that I pay for. Especially if a standard of service has previously been met by the provider. If I am not paying for the service,¬†I understand if you don’t meet an expectation. But if I’m paying, meet and exceed that expectaion. Please.

n. I am allergic to a lot of things, so I¬†try as much as possible not to do anything that will weaken my immune system. I’m all about the body doing it’s work for itself, and not medicine doing it’s work for it.

o. I am fully natural as we speak. Natural Hair. I have a few pictures highlighting that on my Instagram.

p. I have invested in my future more than I have ever invested in anything.

q. I have 2 undone projects at the moment. I pray that i find the courage (yes, courage) to resume these awesome ventures I came up with.

r. I love arms and abs.

s. ‘r’ again.

t. That was very superficial.

u. I like bold lip colours.¬†I have taken a liking to colour¬†after a long period of a¬†make-up free face. I hope I’ll be able to have a few MAC matte colours¬†in my collection soon.

v. The little things are still all that matter.

w. My mum makes my world go round.

x. Wardrobe overhaul needed.

y. My weight has been in an (‘x’ kg plus or minus¬†2) range and I try to eat healthy and exercise whenever I can. Health is one of those irrepleacable things. I am so grateful for good health.

z. I look forward to my future. I am excited for it. Onward and Upward!

I need to get back to blogging. So much I need to write about. The world is my playground. (well, the Internet world)

For now, everyday; I live, I love.

The Know

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I think my greatest worry ever, has been that my future will be not what I expect it to be.

Why do people even have expectations of the future when it is the most unpredictable phenomenon in the entire universe? Why do we hope, and pray, and plan, and save, and toil, and build, and focus on building this totally unpredictable future? What is the need of all the work we put into it every single day of our present?

I have a crisis when it comes to expectation versus reality. It really irks me that I have to leave it all to the One who knows it all sometimes. Could He give me just a little hint? Can He drop me His little “Future of Evabrenda” Planner in a dream or vision? Will He ever let me know when everything is NOT going to be alright? Bacause, look, eveytime I have that dreaded ‘Something-bad-is-going-to-happen’ feeling, I just sing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaGUr6wzyT8

Over and over. In my head.

And then I convince myself that it is.

But do we know?

Do we really want to know?

Should we know?

#ThingsThatKeepMeUpAtNight

iWitness

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The other day I was walking along Tom Mboya Street just behind archives. I usually take a jav(matatu/mathree/daladala) from this damned street to work everyday. I wish I had a car. But, I thank God for this little patience phenomenon called ‘baby-steps’. One day I will own my BMW or Audi. But not this year. Maybe the next.

Back to Tom Mboya street. I am clutching onto my bag hard, because, I really hate the process of replacing my i.d, atm cards, nssf number card, insurance card, club membership cards, and my Jimmy Choo wallet. And my note book. Oh my word! If I could ask for anything back from a robber, it would be my hard cover notebook! It is my life, my plans, my dreams, my work. My precious notebook. I love it more than I love fries. Seeing that replacing such items would be a hustle, and for the notebook, irreplaceable, I wouldn’t want it stolen now would I?

So,¬†I am clutching onto my bag, while listening to Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors. (Good God that song is amazing! o_o). And I am keen on observing my surrounding as I walk. I nonchalantly watch as a pretty middle-aged woman pulls up at the Odeon Cinema in her Vitz(it was a miniature beetle-like car so let’s call it a Vitz) She parked and her young daughter jumped out of the car. She then proceeded to pick her handbag, clutching onto it for dear life(it’s a thing huh?) and closed her door. As she fumbled with her keys and thoughts to lock the door, a well-dressed man approached her.

Well dressed man: Habari yako mama? (How are you ma’am?)

Lady: Mzuri. (Good) [concentrating on locking her car and putting her keys into her bag]

Well dressed man: Mzuri. Mzuri. (Good. Good.) [calmly reaches for her side mirror and begins to methodically detach it from her car]

I mean, the guy wasn’t even trying to hurry up. Daylight robbery in full sight of the owner of the car and her daughter. The lady quickly grabbed her daughter and stood by, shell-shocked. Everyone around them seemed to be about their duties like nothing was happening. I slowed down my walking pace and Justin Timberlake seemed to fade into the background as all this unfolded before my eyes. I quickly glanced around for the Saviour in this particular scene, but there was none. No one even bothered.

Nairobbery. #thumbsdown #fail #phuckyoliving #sowrong #notcool

We are all sitting ducks. (well, walking if you are walking) in this town, esp. the back streets and bus-stations. I am not afraid. God is my protector. But my Note-book. WEH! iCan’t. iWillNot. iAmUnwillingToCan.

Thieves/Robbers/Pickpockets/Snatchers God is watching you.

Be safe people.

My number one tip for a robbery incident,¬†If you get a chance to leave safely, go for it. Ego trips ain’t worth your life. (>>>Men!) Let it go.

Peace!

Beginnings and Delays

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My Life! >_<

In other news, our 4th president will be announced today? (highly unlikely!)

In  other other news, Joker and I are working on a project together. My first small but major project and I am doing it with my best friend. I am nervous and excited. Also, recording it here will help keep us on our toes. By the end of 2013, I should have pictures and some substantial experience in the relevant Kenyan market, so watch this space!

It’s Friday.

Be safe.

Get a designated driver.

Keep hydrated.

The C-word. (Keep it wrapped UP)

Smile.

Drink.

Be merry.

Have a crazy weekend folks! ūüôā

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Elections_KE 2013 musings.

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The past 4 days have been ‘Election Days’ so to speak in KE. The mood has been a peacefully-tense one for lack of a better word. The remnants of a bloody Post-Election are still fresh in the minds and hearts of those who were affected. In the spirit of keeping the peace there has been a huge restraint in expressing views¬†vis-√†-vis the slow lines, malfunction of BVR kits, inefficiency in translation of results electronically and the abrupt change to manual counting on Wednesday afternoon. Kenyans are para-phrasing, holding back, logging off social media, just to avoid confrontation and expression of ‘negative views’ so to speak. But can views be negative? Can any expression which is¬†perceived¬†as negative be necessarily redundant? Just wondering. I applaud Kenyans for preaching peace and keeping it. It really is (should be) the best thing to do in an election scenario.

On that note, I was a first time voter. The permanent marker on my hand has lasted about 4 days.

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I admit I didn’t know 3 out of 6 people that I voted for. And by ‘know’ I mean I hadn’t even researched about the candidates online. Clueless. So I chose the women candidates. (feminist alert!). No, I am NOT a feminist. Maybe a little!

It was a great day in the life of a first-time voter. I have subsequently been following up on the TV election results via https://twitter.com/KTNKenya¬†and https://twitter.com/ntvkenya¬† ¬†ūüôā

We still await the results so the hashtags #KenyaDecides and #Decision2013 still apply. I am proud to be Kenyan, very excited to get a new fourth Prez.

By the way, my new twitter handle is @evabrenda_ (with an underscore at the end) . Follow me? Then say hello!

Childhood Chronicles 1.0

One fine ‘summer’ day in Nairobi, I snuggled into bed after a filling Saturday afternoon lunch. Chapati, huge chunks of fried beef and sukuma-wiki (kale) is one of those meals which combined with a hot day in Nairobi, instantly makes your eyelids really really heavy. Sunday lunches just might be worse…. But that’s beside the point!

So, I ¬†snuggled into bed with my mum. >_< (Mummy’s girl alert!) I was asleep as soon as my head hit my mum’s bosom. *snores*

I woke up about 22 minutes later. I swear it was 22 minutes because I had barely slept, and there’s always that feeling I get when a number isn’t odd. If I set my alarm, I set is for 5.59. If I’m adjusting the volume it has got to be an odd number. So my odd number vibe didn’t click when I looked at the clock, and so I lay my head back down onto my mum’s boso….. Wait! WAIT! This isn’t my mum’s silky smooth perfumed cosy bosom!!! It is a flipping pillow!! A pillow! I freaked out. My heart started racing. Where was I? Where is mum? What happened to mum? My stomach sunk. I started tearing up. I was frightened. I ran downstairs and asked our help so feebly, “Wapi mummy?”. It was as if I was knew the answer would either make everything alright, or kill me! She promptly answered, “Ameenda Gikomba”.

Like it was nothing.

The events that transpired after that statement from the help are the most vivid moments of my childhood. I burst into tears! I WAILED so loudly. I cried and cried and cried.And then cried and cried and cried. Tears do dry up after a while right, and the crying stops? Mine, well, you could say they were persistent. I cried for a whole two hours. I was inconsolable. I cried Until my mum came back from Gikomba!

Devastating right?

I was 3 years old.

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