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In Retrospect

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It’s October already?

BradshawOMGThou must be kidding me! This year is flying by so fast. Too fast. Way too fast. Way friggin fast. *breathe*

 

I want to look back. Tried to decide between “Hindsight” and “Retrospect”. Googled them.

Insert quote of the month:

“GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND”

Retrospect was more relevant to the musings that I want to muse about. 🙂 So, I’m looking back. We all love looking back, right? The whole ‘started from the botttom…’

 

*****(Shit, now the song is stuck in my head)

In retrospect, if I hadn’t eaten too much Blueband from the tin (yes tin), I would probably not gag everytime I taste it now. Yuck!

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In retrospect, if I had taken the public transport from primary school in the evenings, I wouldn’t be such a walker (Walker: Person who loves walking) NO?

I love walking. I honestly believe if I hadn’t trekked so much in the Mombasa sun circa 2000 when I was in middle school, I wouldn’t have much tolerance for it now. I mean, I could always go to the  gym for my exercise, but I prefer a brisk walk in the early morning/evening.

In retrospect, if I hadn’t gone to Limuru Girls’ High School, I would never have met my best friend, and I would never have met her current boyfriend, and I would never have met his best friend, who is currently my boyfriend!!!

In retrospect, I would never have thought that this connection would be so long drawn and so rewarding. I met her, she met him, he had a best friend since high school, I met him, we fell in love. That’s a pretty awesome beginning to a love story!

In restrospect I would never, NEVER have imagined that I would have such great relationships with my sisters, my friends, my employers, my inanimate objects..etc. I don’t know why I figured very early on in life, that a dysfunctional family is ‘normal’. So as I grew up I was very pessimistic about a whole lot of things. These things that I was pessimistic about were all founded on the fact that relationships all end up in shit. God is my only friend.

Zooey-Deschanel-Puts-On-a-Sad-Frown-In-New-Girl-Reaction-Gif
I literally thought the world  was doomed to failed relationships, broken marriages and dysfuntional families. God forbid I thought that I was going to be alone and miserable. I believed that all powerful women had proven that you don’t need a man. (Shoot, I think I was a a feminist back then??). But boy, was I proven wrong. The best unexpected friendships, inside and outside of work have totally happened to me. And one important life lesson I have learnt is that all the friends that we have, except for family, are there for a season only. It is inevitable that one day the paths we all choose will not be parallel anymore. And cue the long drawn silences, and the “we should meet, it’s been like a year!” and the need to find a new ‘clique’ because you are no longer in a great rapport with the old friend’s new girlfriend/wife. Then we move on. It’s the circle of life.

In retrospect I shouldn’t have planned out so many aspects of my young adult life(University). I have realised that those days were the most ‘convenient’ times to make all the mistakes, to explore the world, to create plans and wait for God to confirm them. Those days are the most memorable days of my life and even when my human brain ceases to contain those memories, the lessons I learnt will remain with me forever.
2/15/12 9:05 AM

 

In retrospect, I am so blessed. So so blessed. I have never been a ‘victim’. In whatever situation facing manking today, I have never been a victim. Though women are battered, abused, torn from their families, imprisoned, diseased, bedridden, name any other societally ‘bad’ situation. I thank God for shielding me from the pain of being a victim. I think that victims are way stronger than non-victims, but that is just my opinion. And even though I know that bad and good experiences mould your character in a way that no parent could, I am still very very grateful to God for His mercy upon my life.

 

Welcome October. I hope that In *2032 I will be able to look back at this time in my life in retrospect and respect the decisions that I made for myself and my future.

 

May the odds be in my favour.

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The Know

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I think my greatest worry ever, has been that my future will be not what I expect it to be.

Why do people even have expectations of the future when it is the most unpredictable phenomenon in the entire universe? Why do we hope, and pray, and plan, and save, and toil, and build, and focus on building this totally unpredictable future? What is the need of all the work we put into it every single day of our present?

I have a crisis when it comes to expectation versus reality. It really irks me that I have to leave it all to the One who knows it all sometimes. Could He give me just a little hint? Can He drop me His little “Future of Evabrenda” Planner in a dream or vision? Will He ever let me know when everything is NOT going to be alright? Bacause, look, eveytime I have that dreaded ‘Something-bad-is-going-to-happen’ feeling, I just sing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaGUr6wzyT8

Over and over. In my head.

And then I convince myself that it is.

But do we know?

Do we really want to know?

Should we know?

#ThingsThatKeepMeUpAtNight

iWitness

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The other day I was walking along Tom Mboya Street just behind archives. I usually take a jav(matatu/mathree/daladala) from this damned street to work everyday. I wish I had a car. But, I thank God for this little patience phenomenon called ‘baby-steps’. One day I will own my BMW or Audi. But not this year. Maybe the next.

Back to Tom Mboya street. I am clutching onto my bag hard, because, I really hate the process of replacing my i.d, atm cards, nssf number card, insurance card, club membership cards, and my Jimmy Choo wallet. And my note book. Oh my word! If I could ask for anything back from a robber, it would be my hard cover notebook! It is my life, my plans, my dreams, my work. My precious notebook. I love it more than I love fries. Seeing that replacing such items would be a hustle, and for the notebook, irreplaceable, I wouldn’t want it stolen now would I?

So, I am clutching onto my bag, while listening to Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors. (Good God that song is amazing! o_o). And I am keen on observing my surrounding as I walk. I nonchalantly watch as a pretty middle-aged woman pulls up at the Odeon Cinema in her Vitz(it was a miniature beetle-like car so let’s call it a Vitz) She parked and her young daughter jumped out of the car. She then proceeded to pick her handbag, clutching onto it for dear life(it’s a thing huh?) and closed her door. As she fumbled with her keys and thoughts to lock the door, a well-dressed man approached her.

Well dressed man: Habari yako mama? (How are you ma’am?)

Lady: Mzuri. (Good) [concentrating on locking her car and putting her keys into her bag]

Well dressed man: Mzuri. Mzuri. (Good. Good.) [calmly reaches for her side mirror and begins to methodically detach it from her car]

I mean, the guy wasn’t even trying to hurry up. Daylight robbery in full sight of the owner of the car and her daughter. The lady quickly grabbed her daughter and stood by, shell-shocked. Everyone around them seemed to be about their duties like nothing was happening. I slowed down my walking pace and Justin Timberlake seemed to fade into the background as all this unfolded before my eyes. I quickly glanced around for the Saviour in this particular scene, but there was none. No one even bothered.

Nairobbery. #thumbsdown #fail #phuckyoliving #sowrong #notcool

We are all sitting ducks. (well, walking if you are walking) in this town, esp. the back streets and bus-stations. I am not afraid. God is my protector. But my Note-book. WEH! iCan’t. iWillNot. iAmUnwillingToCan.

Thieves/Robbers/Pickpockets/Snatchers God is watching you.

Be safe people.

My number one tip for a robbery incident, If you get a chance to leave safely, go for it. Ego trips ain’t worth your life. (>>>Men!) Let it go.

Peace!

:)

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ImageKids.

~Midweek Smiles courtesy of this meme!

Yes, It is MIDWEEK. This week ends on Thursday yo!

🙂

 

Easter Bunny Gift

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I decided to give a gift this Easter. Yes, people should give gifts at every single opportunity. It is about 5 days to my twin’s birthday.

Ok, let’s rewind. I have 2 sisters. One in high school. And the other one is a working lady.

In high School, I met my ‘twin’. We both wore spectacles, we were short and loved to smile all the time. Teachers and pupils alike gradually gave up trying to tell us apart. I remember especially the Computer Studies teacher always calling me her name, and her mine. It was super funny, seeing as we had no blood relation at all. We became fast friends, and developed a very cool friendship over the years. She is the one who I go to when I feel really sad, and when I am in a dilemma. She isn’t a trained counselor, but she knows me so well(A bit better than M.O. :)) and thus gives me the BEST advice.

So, I less than three ( ❤ ) my twin so much. She is my best girlfriend ever. So, the Gift is hers. We are all taking a vacation on this Easter weekend. I have been dying for a vacation even though I have been doing zero physical work. I hope that we all have a great time in Mombasa. Mombasa is awesome btw. I used to stay there so I know.

It’s a 4 day break. A break is always good. Take a breather. Go and sit with your grandma. Buy your better half a small gift, or better yet, just write him/her a small message and put it in an Easter Egg. 🙂

Happy Holy Week folks!

Regroup Part1

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I have been swamped.

Not very literally but my mind has been thinking about alot of projects and self-development ventures I am aching to do. I always believe that any desire/passion/want fizzles out in time. So I really want to act now. No slacking, No procrastination, No abandoning projetcs half-way. It is do or (well-not ‘die’ per se)….but its now or never!

There are 2 problems – huge freaking boulders standing in my way though.

1. My day-job. I am at work from 8-5pm++ every day. The traffic to-and-from my work place to the Nairobi CBD is horrible like every single day, then I have to connect and commute until home. 2 hours on average everyday are spent commuting. (what a waste!!)

And, it’s not like I can take out my laptop and start working on my project or website from the bus. If I do, EVERYONE on the bus will be like,

ImageYes. This is NY for you. Nairobi Yetu.

So, -can’t work while commuting, -reach home, -eat, -pass out! Sleep for 2 minutes(6 hours), and back to the routine. May I please just mention at this point in time, I HATE ROUTINE. I can do routine for long periods of time, but it totally brings out the worst in me. Routine is boring. I should change it up. So I came up with options.

  • Coffee. Work on my personal projects. Sleep for less than 4 hours. 
  • Use my office time to work on my personal projects. Get discovered due to the large BW I use for client emails and to download pictures for my website. Get fired.
  • Resign and have a really hard time until the project picks up.
  • Die.

This is Tough.

2. My upcoming post-grad venture.

Hey, YOU who goes to school, and have an m-pesa, and own a clothing store at Jamia Mall, and operate a chain of taxi’s, and do web design, and host 3 TV shows, and travel to see their girlfriend who lives in Tanzania, and go to Mombasa to check on the shipments for clothes, and HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE (I think I just described one of my #oomf)….yea You!! How do you do it?

Seriously. Email me at missevabrenda (at) gmail (dot) com

I am not yet 25…not even 23 yet!!! And look at what Kenyan 23 year-olds are doing. cc. @georgiendirangu… Sigh

BUCK UP.

Plan-conquer-my-dreams is in the works. That BMW isn’t going to buy itself… I mean, look at it.

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*goes back to work*

*apologises for the long post*

*goes back to work*

Tuesday TitBit.

I asked WordPress to ‘Inspire me’ and they gave me this:

Take a line from a song that you love or connect with. Now forget the song, and turn that line into the title or inspiration for your post.

“We are not broken just bent”

That is the line that has been ringing in my head over and over again.  It is from the totally amazing Pink and Nate Ruess. Nate is the lead singer of FUN and he is all sorts of amazing. Their two voices give me chills….good clean singing by these phenomenon'(s).

Watch it here > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI

I am always inspired by love. You know how inspiration goes and comes at will. And how it goes especially on Monday mornings and the days when you need it the most? Well, Love doesn’t choose its days to inspire. Love is everywhere all the time.

I appreciate the strength of love.

I appreciate the intensity of love.

I appreciate the purity of love.

I appreciate the kindness of love.

I appreciate the warmth of love.

I appreciate the beauty of love.

I appreciate the depth of love.

I appreciate the crazy of love.

I appreciate the power of love.

I appreciate the realness of love.

I appreciate the humility of love.

I appreciate the peace in love.

I appreciate the resilience of love.

I love to love.

SideNote 1:

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SideNote 2:

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Love someone today. Will you? 🙂

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