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In Retrospect

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It’s October already?

BradshawOMGThou must be kidding me! This year is flying by so fast. Too fast. Way too fast. Way friggin fast. *breathe*

 

I want to look back. Tried to decide between “Hindsight” and “Retrospect”. Googled them.

Insert quote of the month:

“GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND”

Retrospect was more relevant to the musings that I want to muse about. 🙂 So, I’m looking back. We all love looking back, right? The whole ‘started from the botttom…’

 

*****(Shit, now the song is stuck in my head)

In retrospect, if I hadn’t eaten too much Blueband from the tin (yes tin), I would probably not gag everytime I taste it now. Yuck!

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In retrospect, if I had taken the public transport from primary school in the evenings, I wouldn’t be such a walker (Walker: Person who loves walking) NO?

I love walking. I honestly believe if I hadn’t trekked so much in the Mombasa sun circa 2000 when I was in middle school, I wouldn’t have much tolerance for it now. I mean, I could always go to the  gym for my exercise, but I prefer a brisk walk in the early morning/evening.

In retrospect, if I hadn’t gone to Limuru Girls’ High School, I would never have met my best friend, and I would never have met her current boyfriend, and I would never have met his best friend, who is currently my boyfriend!!!

In retrospect, I would never have thought that this connection would be so long drawn and so rewarding. I met her, she met him, he had a best friend since high school, I met him, we fell in love. That’s a pretty awesome beginning to a love story!

In restrospect I would never, NEVER have imagined that I would have such great relationships with my sisters, my friends, my employers, my inanimate objects..etc. I don’t know why I figured very early on in life, that a dysfunctional family is ‘normal’. So as I grew up I was very pessimistic about a whole lot of things. These things that I was pessimistic about were all founded on the fact that relationships all end up in shit. God is my only friend.

Zooey-Deschanel-Puts-On-a-Sad-Frown-In-New-Girl-Reaction-Gif
I literally thought the world  was doomed to failed relationships, broken marriages and dysfuntional families. God forbid I thought that I was going to be alone and miserable. I believed that all powerful women had proven that you don’t need a man. (Shoot, I think I was a a feminist back then??). But boy, was I proven wrong. The best unexpected friendships, inside and outside of work have totally happened to me. And one important life lesson I have learnt is that all the friends that we have, except for family, are there for a season only. It is inevitable that one day the paths we all choose will not be parallel anymore. And cue the long drawn silences, and the “we should meet, it’s been like a year!” and the need to find a new ‘clique’ because you are no longer in a great rapport with the old friend’s new girlfriend/wife. Then we move on. It’s the circle of life.

In retrospect I shouldn’t have planned out so many aspects of my young adult life(University). I have realised that those days were the most ‘convenient’ times to make all the mistakes, to explore the world, to create plans and wait for God to confirm them. Those days are the most memorable days of my life and even when my human brain ceases to contain those memories, the lessons I learnt will remain with me forever.
2/15/12 9:05 AM

 

In retrospect, I am so blessed. So so blessed. I have never been a ‘victim’. In whatever situation facing manking today, I have never been a victim. Though women are battered, abused, torn from their families, imprisoned, diseased, bedridden, name any other societally ‘bad’ situation. I thank God for shielding me from the pain of being a victim. I think that victims are way stronger than non-victims, but that is just my opinion. And even though I know that bad and good experiences mould your character in a way that no parent could, I am still very very grateful to God for His mercy upon my life.

 

Welcome October. I hope that In *2032 I will be able to look back at this time in my life in retrospect and respect the decisions that I made for myself and my future.

 

May the odds be in my favour.

The Know

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I think my greatest worry ever, has been that my future will be not what I expect it to be.

Why do people even have expectations of the future when it is the most unpredictable phenomenon in the entire universe? Why do we hope, and pray, and plan, and save, and toil, and build, and focus on building this totally unpredictable future? What is the need of all the work we put into it every single day of our present?

I have a crisis when it comes to expectation versus reality. It really irks me that I have to leave it all to the One who knows it all sometimes. Could He give me just a little hint? Can He drop me His little “Future of Evabrenda” Planner in a dream or vision? Will He ever let me know when everything is NOT going to be alright? Bacause, look, eveytime I have that dreaded ‘Something-bad-is-going-to-happen’ feeling, I just sing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaGUr6wzyT8

Over and over. In my head.

And then I convince myself that it is.

But do we know?

Do we really want to know?

Should we know?

#ThingsThatKeepMeUpAtNight

Elections_KE 2013 musings.

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The past 4 days have been ‘Election Days’ so to speak in KE. The mood has been a peacefully-tense one for lack of a better word. The remnants of a bloody Post-Election are still fresh in the minds and hearts of those who were affected. In the spirit of keeping the peace there has been a huge restraint in expressing views vis-Ă -vis the slow lines, malfunction of BVR kits, inefficiency in translation of results electronically and the abrupt change to manual counting on Wednesday afternoon. Kenyans are para-phrasing, holding back, logging off social media, just to avoid confrontation and expression of ‘negative views’ so to speak. But can views be negative? Can any expression which is perceived as negative be necessarily redundant? Just wondering. I applaud Kenyans for preaching peace and keeping it. It really is (should be) the best thing to do in an election scenario.

On that note, I was a first time voter. The permanent marker on my hand has lasted about 4 days.

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I admit I didn’t know 3 out of 6 people that I voted for. And by ‘know’ I mean I hadn’t even researched about the candidates online. Clueless. So I chose the women candidates. (feminist alert!). No, I am NOT a feminist. Maybe a little!

It was a great day in the life of a first-time voter. I have subsequently been following up on the TV election results via https://twitter.com/KTNKenya and https://twitter.com/ntvkenya   🙂

We still await the results so the hashtags #KenyaDecides and #Decision2013 still apply. I am proud to be Kenyan, very excited to get a new fourth Prez.

By the way, my new twitter handle is @evabrenda_ (with an underscore at the end) . Follow me? Then say hello!

Tuesday TitBit.

I asked WordPress to ‘Inspire me’ and they gave me this:

Take a line from a song that you love or connect with. Now forget the song, and turn that line into the title or inspiration for your post.

“We are not broken just bent”

That is the line that has been ringing in my head over and over again.  It is from the totally amazing Pink and Nate Ruess. Nate is the lead singer of FUN and he is all sorts of amazing. Their two voices give me chills….good clean singing by these phenomenon'(s).

Watch it here > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI

I am always inspired by love. You know how inspiration goes and comes at will. And how it goes especially on Monday mornings and the days when you need it the most? Well, Love doesn’t choose its days to inspire. Love is everywhere all the time.

I appreciate the strength of love.

I appreciate the intensity of love.

I appreciate the purity of love.

I appreciate the kindness of love.

I appreciate the warmth of love.

I appreciate the beauty of love.

I appreciate the depth of love.

I appreciate the crazy of love.

I appreciate the power of love.

I appreciate the realness of love.

I appreciate the humility of love.

I appreciate the peace in love.

I appreciate the resilience of love.

I love to love.

SideNote 1:

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SideNote 2:

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Love someone today. Will you? 🙂

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